FADE.

.a text came in.

her smile faded.

her tears dropped.

her hands trembled.

as she drove through the traffic, shifting gears.
she cursed under her breath.

someone promised her.
but the promise was then broken.

what is promises exactly?
promises made her lose faith.

she wove through the traffic.
sung out loud to the tunes.

Breathe In Today. Flyleaf.

*distant sound - you try, your hardest. to perfect your explanation. YOU LIE.

it was dark. and windy.
and rain started to fall.

she drove the car at mighty speed.
no thoughts what so ever on how slippery the road is.

more tears shedded.
she stopped the car to a halt.

she was home.

she cried.

she screamed.

she fell.

.goodbye.

anything. anything to make her forget.




promises once was told,
it will haunt for long years of old.

FREE.

I wake up every morning,
only to hear no birds sing,

and

it got me thinking,
why am I not feeling right?
did I start another fight?

what did I do wrong,
the soul questioned.

but I came up with this instead : tears.

not only do I not know what caused me to become so negative,
I've let myself became more and more compulsive.

I do not know any further on how to improve.

I have tried my best.
I have jumped at opportunities.
I have even risked my chances.

but I haven't got a clue,

STILL.

I don't know what to do.


but now it's all suddenly clear,
it's just what I've feared.


I've let emotions conquer me.
now all I have to do set myself free.

fly like a bird.
no limit, no fear.
be free.

hannah marz.

TOP 10.

(in no order)

my top 10 (current) favorite song


1. I Love You Till The End - The Pogues
2. Darling - Eyes Set To Kill
3. Breathe In Today - Flyleaf
4. Fiction We Live - From Autumn To Ashes
5. With Me - Sum 41
6. Sorry - Buckcherry
7. Stella - Incubus
8. Raein - From 3 to 1 to 2 and 4
9. Glittering Blackness - Explosions In The Sky
10. Angels - Within Temptaions

top 10 favorite bands

1. Incubus
2. Eyes Set To Kill
3. Flyleaf
4. From Autumns to Ashes
5. Within Temptations
6. The Beatles
7. Explosions In The Sky
8. Eisley
9. Paramore
10. Raein

top 10 hates

1. broken promises
2. idiots
3. perverts
4. slow internet connection
5. irresponsible drivers
6. sweet talkers
7. my mood
8. how i look
9. how he treats me nowadays
10. when i have no money

top 10 likes

1. quotes
2. poems
3. books
4. vanilla coke
5. driving
6. my collection of accessories
7. my shoes, flipflops, bags
8. my notebook
9. writing
10. cash, baby!

top 10 valuable things

1. purse
2. notebook
3. phones
4. necklaces
5. flipflops
6. bags
7. ring
8. his shirt
9. bracelets
10. cash that i wish i had

MARTIANS.

is there ever any promises made, and is not fucked up?

is it so hard to actually listen to someone when they're pouring
their hearts out, without any nasty remarks in return?

for goodness sake, we venuses just want our piece of mind to be
heard. okay, maybe we don't know what exactly what we want in
life. but at least hear us out.

all the masculine gendered people out there.
let your guards down.
put your ego in your ass for a while.

your girls are just trying to get things straight.
if you don't want them to get emotional every now and then,
LISTEN TO THEM.

and PLEASE. don't dissmiss what they're about to say.

i am tired of being dismissed adn spend my waking hours crying
and mulling over your stupid "i need space" speech.

WE HAVE BEEN GIVING YOU SPACE!
WE GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED!



too much space perhaps.



i've lost track of what is this blog's purpose.

fuck.

GET A FUCKING LIFE, HANNAH!

TODAY.

every day is a new day, i heard some one say, but it keeps on
occuring to me that it is not.

i am living a shadow of someone else's life.

someone very close to me, someone i used to trust.

i woke up today with the sound of someone rudely setting up my
notebook.

i slept at 4 last night to drown all my fears away,
but today, it came to me like a hurricane.

everything i feared for, came true.

i will act happy when really, i am everything but.

when i keep it to myself, i get hurt,
when i let it go, i get hurt.

no matter what i do, it's a lose-lose situation.

i am merely a person with no feelings and objections.




i got pissed, and hit her. ONCE. on her hand.
and she ratted me out.
she bribed me for things she found out when she ransacked through
my notebook.
things she shouldn't even know.

it was after all, my notebook, with my password, my privacy,
my sacred hideout that i confide in.


all is at lost now.
i have surrendered my soul to my sister,
the day i hit her.

TODAY.

ILLUSIONS.

everyone, every scene, everything that is here.

hanya ilusi.

every sound, every smile, every smell.

hanya ilusi.

cinta.

what good does it bring?
satisfaction good enough for you?

cinta.

is it just another word you say to soften one's heart?
is it just another type of flu?

ilusi dan cinta saling berkait.

how, you ask me?
saling ketika si dia dilamun cinta, fikirannya lemas dalam ilusi-ilusi cerita indah.

but is it for real?
hanya ilusi yang menimbulkan perasaan cinta yang indah.

reality kicks in.
cinta tidak akan seindah ilusi-ilusi yang bermain didalam benak imaginasi si dia.

wake up.

hidupmu adalah satu ilusi.
begitu juga cerita cinta hidupmu.

FIRST.

here's my new weblog full of crap for the world to see.

my rants and blurbs will be uploaded soon.

to infinity, and beyond!

enjoy. (: