Binoculars.

Its destructive when the only time you can let out the kept anger, frustrations, and sadness is by reading a book or watching a movie with a plot of loss.

Its been a while since I've written anything significant about my life. About the stuff that really matters. Because ever since I've started full time work, I found myself missing something.

Something is always not right.

I don't feel sad, I don't feel happy, I just live.

Everybody says to get through life, you've got to suck it up and move on. I've taught myself that ever since I was in my teens. That made me who I am today. I consider myself reasonably calm and collected.

I only cry when no one is around, when I read, when I watch a movie. It gets depressing, when all I cry about is loss. Maybe there's something missing.

Maybe there's a loss that I don't know of.

If there isn't any, why else would I be so sensitive over the emotions and the plot?

Maybe I'm lost, still.

And maybe deep down inside I feel that all the good things in this world are at loss too.

I need to restore my faith in life. I need to, before it gets worse.

I need to feel genuinely happy. I desperately want to.

I need to feel the excruciating pain that's supposed to hurt me. I have to feel it.

But, sadly, all I feel is .... Emptiness.