Saturday, June 26, 2010

This is how I really feel;

If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Back Off, Slave-driver!

you just can't see me happy and/or free, can you?

Monday, June 21, 2010

Drop the World

No matter how many tears I've dropped,
No matter how coarse my voice sounds,

I just can't get away from this, can't I?
I feel like cursing whenever something bad happens.

Okay, this is bad, I've run out of patience.

It hurts, but I never show this pain you’ll never know
If only you could see just how lonely and how cold
And frostbit I’ve become, my back’s against the wall
When push come to shove, I just stand up and scream “Fuck ‘em all”

Saturday, June 19, 2010


do you know how does it feel to feel insecure all the time?

Well, I'm kind of going through that right now. maybe I'm pms-ing, but maybe I just have an irritating gut-feeling about a girl from the past. So yeah, lately, this girl has been calling my boyfriend, practically everyday, asking all these unnecessary questions where the answers are easily available from a totally different person.

She's a stewardess, I'm a student.
She was with him for 3 years, and we are going to be 16 months this 28th.
She is fair-skinned, well, I'm not.
she's soft-spoken, I'm loud.
She's smart, egoistic, and I'm blur and 'vulnerable' (so says my boyfriend)

So, you can imagine my worries when she calls him everyday, asking has he eaten, what he was up to, where can she find a place with good food. *iknow,likeWTFright?

Come on, this, coming from a girl who has a boyfriend that lives in the same area.

Why I feel so insecure, though I know I'm a better suit for my guy than she is, is because, she has the advantage of being his first gf, ever.*like,pffffft,obsessedmuch?

I'm not yet through spending my time with him, I feel ... how do you say, like the time I have with him all these months is insufficient, and I'm not able to let him go just yet. *iknowi'vegoneoverboardwiththis

I can't even see myself not being with him (for the time being). Right now, he's my best friend, my outlet, the apple of my eye. He treats me well, he jokes, he wins me over when he knows he pissed me off. He's perfect for my right-now. I don't dare to think about the future. Let's not waste my energy fussing over that, shall we?

Okay, I'm done rambling, I'm going to go off doing something to blow off steam.
Probably I'll be singing along to UKAYS, Search, Wings and Iklim.

I guess that covers it. My current state of mind; insecure and clueless.

Oh yea, P/S for the girl;
Back off my boyfriend, bitch. Watch out for Karma, we're bestfriends.

Friday, June 18, 2010


seriously, this is happening?

like seriously?



back again, with a loaded mind.

okay, first things first,
results didn't really sucked, i was just being dramatic. *long pause* i know, i can't help it.

my dad was admitted in the hospital, due to high blood pressure. this was during my finals. imagine what was i thinking then. thus explains the dramatic results. i was literally crying on my notes. like my notes had these huge blue splotches, your girl here is a softie. boo-hoo, too bad.

moving on,
had the best ever night out with my girlies and their boyfies. painted the town red. uncle chilli's, chulo's @ jaya one, and a drive through KL scenic club routes. haha.

err, today,
when i was out with the boyfie, his ex called, gave me a shudder, and i kept quiet the whole outing, obviously my mind was working on frictions to get to something, i dont know what, solution, explanation, but i was just scrambling through my mind for something. is that normal, okay, its not. call me crazy, i don't care. seriously, i had crazy eyes.

thats the recent happenings in my life (ones that i manage to remember)
my life is sad.
depressingly sad.

Friday, June 11, 2010

going in for the kill.

no access.
no life.

results sucked.
like, seriously sucked.

kill me now.