Sunday, September 27, 2009


rasa macam nak nangis.
rasa macam nak jerit.
rasa macam nak meronta.
rasa macam nak melompat.
rasa macam nak menyanyi.

kenapa rasa macam-macam ni?
tak suka la.

tak boleh concentrate.


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Dear Heart,

It's easier if people just close their eyes & never expect.
I know, impossible.

Dear Heart,

Where have you been lately?
Right here, buried by your emotions.

Why are you so fragile lately?
Because I think you're not being fair to Brain and Conscious, they have a say in your life, too.

I see that you've been strong through all this.
Yes, I have, you just don't know how much pain I'm going to be into if I let you continue.

Teach me to love sincerely, would you?
Of course, to love someone is when you know you are content with yourself, but, it is of course, easier said than done, you just need time, H.

Teach Brain to think wisely, can you?
Sure, anything to make you and I impervious to emotional nonsense.

Heart, can you tell me whether I am doing the right thing?
No, H. I can't that is something that only Conscious and Brain knows. I only take care of how you feel, and how to feel.

Heart, continue being strong for me, will you?
Most definitely, H. Anything for you.

Thank you, dear Heart.




A beginning of everything wonderful, said the guy to her. She just nodded and smiled; he kissed her forehead gently, and whispered ‘forever and always, I’m yours’. They were inseparable since then, eyes that never parted from each other, finishing each other sentences, and they even sang together, creating a new harmony, breathtaking melody, music that was understood by everybody, touching people souls and piercing their thoughts with the words.

As she was revisiting her past, she felt her goose bumps rising; she lifted her head up, and was wearing a smile, a smile only known by him and her. She knew that he was there with her, holding her hand, supporting her. Tears fell again, this time it was weaved with slow sighs and whimpers.

She remembered how both of them was riding on his red Vespa, cruising through busy traffic in 5th Avenue, there had been an accident on that road, he was distraught by the scene, and so, she calmed him down, as they were busy talking, a black BMW3215i swerved in front of them, and everything went dark.



Thursday, September 24, 2009




Well, Raya was okay-ish. Was soooo excited to meet Kambing, but in the end, we had a fight and he came by my aunt's house and dropped off the stuffs, and that was it. Sighhh. But, it was good seeing him again.

Thanks again for Starfish, Purple dinasour and the Dark Blue Slim. :)

Things with B have been GOOD! I'm loving every minute of it, and I have to spend every free minute I have with Boyot, too, since B is off to work for 3 months starting 1st October. Boohoo.

Sigh. No muse. No words coming out. Though when I was back in JB, I had tonnes of ideas, my bad for not putting it down on paper, or save it in my phone.

Oyeah, 18th October is my Convocation. Sunflowers and teddy bears please. :D

And, and, and, Who's coming with me to Perhentian/Singapore soon? Let's make this a fun-filled trip! *I sound like a bad jingle, don't I?*

More updates, when I feel like it.Taa

Monday, September 14, 2009

Inside beats.

Soyez le fort, cher coeur.
Car tout vient avec un défi.
Vous devez juste vous reposer et respirer.

Sunday, September 13, 2009


be strong, Heart, please.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

you, yes, you.

What I need, What I feel, What I want



Who I want to hug, Who I want to make my nights brighter, Who I want to cry to, Who I want to share my laughs with, Who I want to be pampered by

is also


Can't YOU see?
I've got YOU on my mind, in my heart.
All the way, everyday.


kenapa mesti kita rasa bosan?

and bila kita bosan, kenapa kita rasa unloved?

Monday, September 7, 2009



Sunday, September 6, 2009


true dat.


Its hard to let go, I know.

Where are you, kambing?
I've missed you.

Why don't you give me a call when it's all through?
I've been craving for your voice all day.

Why don't you explain to me why am I on cloud nine?
I've been floating all day.

Why don't you come over and see me?
I'm dying to lay my head on your shoulder.

Why don't you sing for me?
I'd love to drop tears of gratitude.

Where are you?
Oh, there you are,
right inside my heart,
engraved on my thoughts,
and tattooed on my soul.

This is definitely getting harder.
I don't want to choose.
I don't want to let go.

Friday, September 4, 2009


six seven eight triple nine eight two one two.

Sememangnya, pilihan aku masih belum muktamad, aku masih diambang kekeliruan, aku masih memerlukan petunjuk-petunjuk yang akan memapah aku kearah yang aku tidak akan sesali. Aku masih memerlukan masa untuk memikirkan tentang risiko-risiko yang aku akan hadapi. Aku masih memerlukan kewarasan minda. Aku masih memerlukan suara-suara hati dan akal fikiranku untuk berdebat. Aku masih memerlukan pilihan-pilihanku menunjukkan betapa berbaloinya mereka padaku.

Aku masih memerlukan diriku sendiri untuk menilai.
Aku masih memerlukan diriku untuk berfikir.
Aku masih memerlukan kepercayaan pada diriku.

Kerana, pada masa ini, mindaku terlampau sesak untuk berfikir.
Emosiku terlampau tidak stabil untuk merasa.
dan, sifat Fizikalku sangat penat untuk mengambil tindakan.

"Be patient, heart. It'll come"

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


Blank pages bind together creates a promise to fulfill an empty life,
Black calligraphic handwriting eases down onto the pages of empty sorrow,
Red ink of devastation creates a dramatic twist in a once flat, lifeless soul,
Pink flowers, glitters and hearts fills the days of love the soul never had before,
A life was so unfamiliar, yet so smoothly written down on pieces of scattered paper,
Again, was put together to create new chapters of life,
Creates a new story, full of life, full of zest.

Oh, how simple a book of fiction can be written,
Oh, how hard for us to mold a storyline for our own chronicle.

The writer's block, the misuse of words, the typographical errors.
The pause of hesitation, the exaggeration of drama, the mistakes that were made.

How similar the processes of a book and of our life,
yet the huge difference is how we choose to write it, to portray it.
The possibilities of our lives becoming a fiction, a chic-literature, romance, science fiction are huge.

But yet we do not know what kind of story we are living now, and what kind of storyline awaits us.

I am blinded by words everyday, and I am secretly hoping for a miracle to happen as I walk through the words of my biographical novel. A magical tragedy that brings me right to a happy ending, without going through any rough patches, or pauses of hesitation.

Some of you might not understand what I'm trying to say, but I sincerely say here, I am a mere human being with feelings, thoughts and doubts. So, these are just my humble thoughts.


Kenapa begitu susah untuk melepaskan sesuatu peluang yang mempunyai risiko tinggi untuk merosakkan diri sendiri? Mengapa harus kita terlalu ikutkan kata-kata hati? Kalau nak ikutkan logik, seharusnya kita memilih sesuatu tindakan yang membolehkan ktia bahagia, tenang sentiasa, dan juga sering melemparkan senyuman. Tapi, bukankah ia menjadi sesuatu masalah jika terdapat dua pilihan yang begitu hebat magiknya, begitu hebat implikasinya terhadap hidup kita?

Well, I was just wondering, it's not everyday you face these kind of situation, but when you are forced to deal with it, it takes your heart, your mind and your soul to a death plunge. Everyday, you have to be careful of your words, your choices, your desired actions, for each significant move may result in something you might regret your whole life. Okay, yes, I'm exaggarating.

Sometimes I wish life's answers to troubles is just
Yes or No.
Not multiple choices.
Or Open ended.
Or Fill in the blanks.

You get what I mean.

I want my life to be simplified, but yet, I'm making it complicated?

So yeah, I'm at crossroads now, I can't think straight.