Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Oh ya, Ego is such a drama queen, and I can't wait for Conscious to finish her exams, next up; BAZAARS!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Event : Clear Shampoo's Futsal Challenge.
Location : Pavillion K.L
Date : 12th and 13th December
Working there was fun. Got a few other job offers, bumped into a few familiar faces, had chats with old crushes. And, met some weird people as well. For instance;
Guy : Hi, I just wanted to know, what's your zodiac?
Ego : Erm, Leo?
Guy: Oh, Okay, and yours?
Me : Errrrr, Virgo?
Guy : Oh, Okay, Is this the semi-s or quarters?
*TIBA TIBA CAKAP PASAL BOLA. -________________________-"
Ego and I was on our way, headed towards Chen's newly pimped out car.
I felt a tap on my arm, and was all 'sapa-pulak-pggil-aku-ni,kishi-kat-tepi-ni-haaa', so I turned and found a rather small sized guy, or should I say boy, cause I'm not sure of the age looking up at me....and said....
Boy/Guy : Hi, you nak balik dah ke?
Me : Errr, *cue muka pelik gila here* yea..
Boy/Guy : I mean you nak balik terus ke?
Me : Errrrr, yea..I guess so...Kenapa eh?
Boy/Guy : Oh, takde, I dtg sorg, I igt kalau u tak balik lg, I nak ajak you tengok wayang...
Me : Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Dah nak balik dah, thanks anyway. *smiles and walks away, tahan gelak*
*BERANI BYE DIA CAKAP MACAM TU. PALING SLUMBERRRR BOLEH PERGI
Two occurences that I can remember for now, as for the rest, I'll upload as soon as I recall. With pictures, too!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
My shoulders, arms and thighs are sore like I've been in a marathon for 250kms, carrying along 2kilo dumbbells.
5th and 6th December-
Worked for two loooong days as promoters, thanks to the job, I am now 'tanned'. Errrr. 'Burnt' is the appropriate term, I think. I have eye bags like I've been carrying around 300 pounds of luggage under it. But 300 bucks is worth it after working for 26 hours on weekends, and a festival, with A LOT of uncivilized people. Trust me, you don't know even a bit of how the people were behaving.
Life's a game and it's not fair.
About this 'promoter' job, Ego and I worked for 2 days, at the Jom Heboh Festival, organised by TV3.
I stole this picture from Conscious, so mind the "cute" comment embedded on the picture, ya?
We were told that its a 10-10 job, but when we got there, boy we were duped. We worked for 13 hours, in the sun, and also in the rain, not drizzle-type, well, you get the point.
Day 1 - We were asked to hold 5 paper bags, each, and 'promote'. The paper bags were heavy, mind you, 5 products, and the strings of the paper bags didn't help much, either. Both of us clicked with 3 other promoters instantly. Helena, Amy and Nini. Helena was the one who gave us the job. This is also the day I suffered a major migraine, but I still had to work. Ego was being all dramatic with her line "I'm dying.....your friend is dying.....iIm literally dyiiiingg...". Day 1 ended wiht both of us feeling like jellyfishes and our skin color drastic change. You might even mistake us from one in another race. Okay, I'm exaggarating.
Day 2 - We were told today, we are allowed to cary around 3 bags each, thank you, finally. This was the day we found out that both Amy and Nini's boyfriends were working on our team, as the crew. I bonded with a few other people, like Elfy and this other guy-yang-aku-tak-sempat-tanya-nama-tapi-he-saw-me-betulkan-my-bra. Hahaha! Elfy's cute, but when I told that to B, he said, 'you betul ke? sampah kot, hahaha!' and his younger borther overheard, and even looked at me weird. He IS cute okay. Even Ego said so. Helena, Amy and Nini turn out the be the awesome-est people you could ask for when working. Kutuk boleh, tipu boleh, ponteng boleh, borak pun boleh. Sumpah tak tipu, diorang best. I'm going to miss working with those guys again.
Oh, I forgot to mention that B visited me both days. :) Day 1 with Tasnim, and Day 2 with his parents, which I ran and hid behind the booth and didn't come out for 10 minutes. haha!
The job was awesome overall, superbly tiring, but awesome nonetheless.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I have been slaving away since the start of exams, and nobody seems to notice that, they just give out more orders. And since the holidays started, and an uneventful occurrence happened, my life took a drastic turn. I am now the ultimate slave, so please, go ahead and wipe your snot on my hair.
The life and times of an ultimate slave is inclusive of being screamed at, being nagged at, being the punching bag. An ultimate slave does anything and everything to ease down anger or sadness. The job description does not end there, my fellow friends. An ultimate slave has to do the laundry, dishes, pets, cleaning, the stuff a maid does daily. Why the hell am I working as an ultimate slave, you ask me?
Because I don't have the privilege of saying 'NO'. Yes, that's right, I am allowed to only say yes, nod my head and agree. No matter how painful, stupid or fucked up the situation might be. I am only left to my thoughts from midnight till dawn. At dawn, my ego disappears and I resume to my superbly wonderful job.
Most of you would have draggy jobs, I assume. And most of you have the privilege of waking to a relaxing atmosphere. But I, have obligations, that I can't refuse. Sad, it is. But nothing takes the cake but being an ultimate slave without no-one to talk to. Thus, this ultimate slave, who happens to be tech-savvy, turns to her blog, instead.
This ultimate slave is going to be here for a long, long, loooooong time. So, if you need yourself a handy helper? Contact me here : 1800-I-AM-FUCKED-UP. If the line appears busy, you can mail the ultimate slave at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thank you for reading my biography. It's been a pleasure to introduce my life to the people who thinks that they have a "Sucky" life.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Sigh, sigh, sigh. He's finishing his contract in April. I'm finishing my 4th semester in May. Probably he'll have time for me, then? I texted Conscience, and told her that B is always with work, and rarely spends a whole day with me, and said, "I won't ever be able to spend a day with him, no interruptions, will i?" and She replied, "Of course you will, kahwin nanti.hihi"
I shall wait for my wedding day then. I shall wait for the day, where everything will change. Or will it?
Maybe it will just change to having a busy Boyfriend, to having a busy Husband.
Sigh. I guess this is why I don't see us married? :'(
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Masa yang terindah bagiku adalah pabila hendak menjalinkan hubungan denganmu,
Apabila ku mendapatmu, tidak terkata perasaan dihatiku ini,
Betapa gembiranya aku menyayangi, dan menghormati,
Tidak sekali terlintas difikiranku bahawa kau sudi menerimaku,
Tetapi bagiku tidak kira setiap detik, masam hari, bulan, tahun dan abad sekalipun,
Perasaan dihatiku, sama ada kecewa, gembira, atau marah sekalipun,
Yang TERPENTING antara semua yang kukatakan tadi adalah;
Perasaanku apabila ku jatuh CINTA padamu.
Jangan sesekali terfikir bahawa cintaku akan kurang,
Kerana, ianya tidak akan terjadi sama sekali, wahai cintaku.
I'll always LOVE you, baby."
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday”
- Noah, The Notebook
I am so in love with you.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Your love is just Lust.
Wise words are Bull.
I think I've lost my faith somewhere along my pointless drive.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Why would it hurt, when its in the past?
What happened to 'let bygones be bygones'
Why would terrible news comes after you a few strikes in a row?
Why would fate do this to a person who is willing to sacrifice?
I ask, and I ask.
But the questions are left unanswered.
Why exactly, when you really think that you're starting to be happy, you find out something that is devastatingly sad.
I know it's selfish to be emotional right now.
I just don't want to feel a fuck now.
Fuck off, fucking no fucking use fucking problems.
Just Fuck Off.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Every trickle of sweat is caused by your superiority.
I blush my cheeks, to hide my shame.
I wish I was yours for an eternity.
I watched you walk past me everyday,
With no sign of interest, I see you walk away,
Your ignorance triggers my curiosity,
So then, I decided to stalk you anonymously.
One day I saw you light your red Marlboro,
With what I see, a frown upon your face.
Right then I knew my feelings for you would grow,
So I walked away with a quick pace.
You would go missing for weeks,
There were no longer of my burning cheeks.
But when you were back in action,
My mind would work overtime in math and fractions.
I finally plucked my courage to say Hello.
Your reply was short and mellow.
I was excited, but disappointed, nonetheless.
So I figured, I would stop being obsessed.
24 hours passed by,
You walked my way and greeted a cheery Hi.
I smiled and left,
Thinking If I should have...
You followed me to my class door,
Opened the door, like a gentleman, for ever more.
You continued to woo the Blush Cheeked Girl,
Until you gave her life a whirl.
Her love was finally spoken for,
It is you and me, forever and more.
I want my fairy-tales to come true so bad, its depressing.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
headache won't seem to go away after those dreadful tears.
workload is too much for me to cope with, really, it is.
friends are too far off that I can't smother them with my whines.
SEEEE. I'm whining again.
Babilah. Babi. Babi. Babi.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
I miss you dearly.
Though I get to see you, I'm still missing you.
You've put a spell on me. :)
I miss the times that I could hang out with you and your friends,
and play around with your cats.
I miss the times that I have you all to myself.
Nak cubit perut boleh?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I know, impossible.
Where have you been lately?
Right here, buried by your emotions.
Why are you so fragile lately?
Because I think you're not being fair to Brain and Conscious, they have a say in your life, too.
I see that you've been strong through all this.
Yes, I have, you just don't know how much pain I'm going to be into if I let you continue.
Teach me to love sincerely, would you?
Of course, to love someone is when you know you are content with yourself, but, it is of course, easier said than done, you just need time, H.
Teach Brain to think wisely, can you?
Sure, anything to make you and I impervious to emotional nonsense.
Heart, can you tell me whether I am doing the right thing?
No, H. I can't that is something that only Conscious and Brain knows. I only take care of how you feel, and how to feel.
Heart, continue being strong for me, will you?
Most definitely, H. Anything for you.
Thank you, dear Heart.
A beginning of everything wonderful, said the guy to her. She just nodded and smiled; he kissed her forehead gently, and whispered ‘forever and always, I’m yours’. They were inseparable since then, eyes that never parted from each other, finishing each other sentences, and they even sang together, creating a new harmony, breathtaking melody, music that was understood by everybody, touching people souls and piercing their thoughts with the words.
As she was revisiting her past, she felt her goose bumps rising; she lifted her head up, and was wearing a smile, a smile only known by him and her. She knew that he was there with her, holding her hand, supporting her. Tears fell again, this time it was weaved with slow sighs and whimpers.
She remembered how both of them was riding on his red Vespa, cruising through busy traffic in 5th Avenue, there had been an accident on that road, he was distraught by the scene, and so, she calmed him down, as they were busy talking, a black BMW3215i swerved in front of them, and everything went dark.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Thanks again for Starfish, Purple dinasour and the Dark Blue Slim. :)
Things with B have been GOOD! I'm loving every minute of it, and I have to spend every free minute I have with Boyot, too, since B is off to work for 3 months starting 1st October. Boohoo.
Sigh. No muse. No words coming out. Though when I was back in JB, I had tonnes of ideas, my bad for not putting it down on paper, or save it in my phone.
Oyeah, 18th October is my Convocation. Sunflowers and teddy bears please. :D
And, and, and, Who's coming with me to Perhentian/Singapore soon? Let's make this a fun-filled trip! *I sound like a bad jingle, don't I?*
More updates, when I feel like it.Taa
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
What I need, What I feel, What I want
Who I want to hug, Who I want to make my nights brighter, Who I want to cry to, Who I want to share my laughs with, Who I want to be pampered by
Can't YOU see?
I've got YOU on my mind, in my heart.
All the way, everyday.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I've missed you.
Why don't you give me a call when it's all through?
I've been craving for your voice all day.
Why don't you explain to me why am I on cloud nine?
I've been floating all day.
Why don't you come over and see me?
I'm dying to lay my head on your shoulder.
Why don't you sing for me?
I'd love to drop tears of gratitude.
Where are you?
Oh, there you are,
right inside my heart,
engraved on my thoughts,
and tattooed on my soul.
I don't want to choose.
I don't want to let go.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Aku masih memerlukan diriku sendiri untuk menilai.
Aku masih memerlukan diriku untuk berfikir.
Aku masih memerlukan kepercayaan pada diriku.
Kerana, pada masa ini, mindaku terlampau sesak untuk berfikir.
Emosiku terlampau tidak stabil untuk merasa.
dan, sifat Fizikalku sangat penat untuk mengambil tindakan.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Black calligraphic handwriting eases down onto the pages of empty sorrow,
Red ink of devastation creates a dramatic twist in a once flat, lifeless soul,
Pink flowers, glitters and hearts fills the days of love the soul never had before,
A life was so unfamiliar, yet so smoothly written down on pieces of scattered paper,
Again, was put together to create new chapters of life,
Creates a new story, full of life, full of zest.
Oh, how simple a book of fiction can be written,
Oh, how hard for us to mold a storyline for our own chronicle.
The writer's block, the misuse of words, the typographical errors.
The pause of hesitation, the exaggeration of drama, the mistakes that were made.
How similar the processes of a book and of our life,
yet the huge difference is how we choose to write it, to portray it.
The possibilities of our lives becoming a fiction, a chic-literature, romance, science fiction are huge.
But yet we do not know what kind of story we are living now, and what kind of storyline awaits us.
I am blinded by words everyday, and I am secretly hoping for a miracle to happen as I walk through the words of my biographical novel. A magical tragedy that brings me right to a happy ending, without going through any rough patches, or pauses of hesitation.
Some of you might not understand what I'm trying to say, but I sincerely say here, I am a mere human being with feelings, thoughts and doubts. So, these are just my humble thoughts.
Well, I was just wondering, it's not everyday you face these kind of situation, but when you are forced to deal with it, it takes your heart, your mind and your soul to a death plunge. Everyday, you have to be careful of your words, your choices, your desired actions, for each significant move may result in something you might regret your whole life. Okay, yes, I'm exaggarating.
Yes or No.
Not multiple choices.
Or Open ended.
Or Fill in the blanks.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
My Tylenol when I'm in pain.
He's soothing like, the ocean rushing on the sand.
He's exactly what I need.
He's my smile when I'm feeling blue.
My midnight sleep when the day is through.
Kinda like the feeling after your first kiss,
except everyday he makes me feel like this.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I don't mean to be rude or anything, but its just that I don't want anything to do with your drama. I'm not on anyone's side, as for I have my own problems to dramatize about. I mean, no offense here, you're still my friend, and she's still who she is. That's something I can't change. I won't go on her back, and I won't go on yours. I don't want to be on either of you guys' bad side. I just want you guys to let it go, if ada orang yang cari pasal, then, waive your flag, the egos and dramas are not exactly helping your situation. Senang cerita, be the bigger man once in awhile kay. And please, let me go from all this drama, I have nothing to do with it. Pleaseandthankyou. :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
What the fish. Penat lelah aku study bagai nak cuckoo, tiba-tiba cuti sem. Best gila lah. Finally, when my brain starts to function normally, classes stop.
Oh, the joy I feel. Now I have to study at home, and wait for my finals. -_____-"
Crap. My head is spinning again, for the 332nd time this week.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
i wanna touch but i gotta keep control of my hands, i wanna touch you but you probably making love to your girl, i wanna touch you but i gotta make myself understand, that i cant, but i cant, understand that i cant.
this is bad.
Friday, July 31, 2009
the wind blowing her black leather jacket, making her feel as if she's the queen of the road.
eyes squinting, she hugged her rider tight. his warm body feel as comforting as ever.
if the time would stop, this was the perfect moment. she felt as if all her trouble was blown away by the impact of the scooter that was cruising fast.
she didn't want to have a destination, she wanted the moment, the elecrticity she felt right then. it gave her shivers, a chill through her body.
her fingers danced to the vibrations of the speed. her stomach did backflips, and her lips carved a seductive smile.
she wanted him, her rider, her love of her life to be with her always.
they arrived at a hilltop, overviewing Bangsar, and he laid out a checkered picnic blanket. he took out a bottle of bubbly and a scrumptious-looking buffet that he made from scratch.
*mmmm* she mumbles. this is perfect. from afar, they could see skyscrapers blinking, motorcars whizzing by, and she got lost in her thoughts.
an embrace from her back woke her up from her thoughts. she smiled a heart-melting smile, and turned around to face her soulmate.
he swept her off her feet, carrying her to the blanket and laid her down. they conversed, their eyes full of sparkle. it was dessert already, oh how time flies by. he said he has a surprise. he opened a container with tiramisu in it. she gasped.
she was instantly brought back to her favourite accident, the day they first met.
Secret Recipe Taipan. They fought over who should have the last piece of Tiramisu on display. He gave in, she went home smiling. They met up frequently then, just as coffee buddies, but it is undeniable chemistry that they had. They went out from SR that day, two weeks after their first encounter, holding hands.
Any way to make her pleased, her lover learned how to bake her Tiramisu. and tonight, he surprised her. as they were enjoying their sweet dessert, something in her mouth made her heart stopped beating.
she took out that piece of distraction, stared at it, and cried.
he bent down on one knee, and said "will you do me the honour of being my wife?" he smiled, and kissed her on the forehead.
she was speechless, nodded her head profusely. "yes, yes, and a million times yes" tears stream down her flushed cheeks.
they got lost in each other's embrace, and the rest, was history.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
It's only Sunday and I've run out of things to do. Probably I should slot in some jogging time here.
The boyfriend is not going to be around for another 3 weeks. Boo-hoo. My friends are scattered, some are grounded, and some are busy. I am left alone. Again, boo-hoo.
Classes has been hectic and boring, but it was fun in the sense of I get to hang out with my friends, lepak at countless mamaks. And have bottomless refills of Teh-O-Ais. But I miss Melaka more, though. Shah Alam is a bore. And when I start to think that, Subang Jaya also puts me off.
I have no idea where I like anymore. Or maybe Subang would be more fun if I had Sharawy. :(
I'd love for him to be here right now.
God, I'm starting to crap. Taa.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
i am going mad for these sudden assignments and presentations.
oh, and i love my lecturer who says "ok" 121 times in 25 minutes. yes, i counted.
and every now and then, he says 'correct me or not?'
Thursday, July 16, 2009
It's totally fiction, and I'm new at this.
As she stared into the gray slab in front of her, her knees dropped, hot tears came flooding her blushing cheeks. Her fondest memories flew passed her eyes, making her moan even louder. She could not stand the thoughts, but there was no way of stopping it. She cried, until there was nothing to cry about. Her dreams died when he died, she thought to herself. She lets out a helpless sigh.
She remembered the first time they met, smoky room, loud rock music in the air. His eyes met hers, instant goose bumps. Right there, she knew he was the one to be with. He smiled, she melted. No conversation was needed; it's the chemistry that they felt. No goodbyes were bid, but both of them knew they would meet up again, somehow.
She saw flashbacks of herself, going to concerts, emceeing and singing. Then she stopped at a familiar face in the crowd. She beams a smile, and managed to rock out her performance like a born superstar would. His presence meant that she would be able to feel the chemistry she felt 3 weeks ago. She trotted down the stairs, and waited for him to catch her eyes. She waited for a solid 7 minutes, but he didn’t even look her way, disappointed, she looked away and started to leave the hall. As she was walking out, she felt a tap on her shoulder, one that felt very electrifying, could it be? She thought to herself. She turned around; there he was, with a winning smile that made her knees felt weaker than ever.
Monday, July 13, 2009
He took out his black zippo, lit the cigarette hanging by his lips.
He lets out a smoky sigh, and continues to swim in his deep thoughts.
He swam, but at times, he drowned. He frowned upon the depressing pictures in his head.
Another cloud of smoke was exhaled.
The girlfriend entered the room.
"Baby, I'm worried, are you okay? I love you, just wanted to let you know that."
But all that came out of his mouth was..
I got into RMIT.
After the interview with Mr. Peter Sorenson,
the submitted application,
along with my portfolio,
my writings (I even included both my blog addresses)
and my photography, I got in.
Alhamdulillah is all I can say.
It's just that, now I'm not so sure if I want to go.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Classes has started.
Here's my schedule *tears a little*
Monday - 8.30-10.20 French
10.30-12.20 Communication Research and Methods
2.10-5.00 Elective Course
Tuesday - 10.30-12.20 Consumer Behaviour
2.10-4.00 Advertising Copywriting
Wednesday - 8.30-10.20 Marketing Research
10.30-12.20 Ethnic Relations
Thursday - 8.30-10.20 Communication Research and Methods (Tutorial)
2.10-4.00 Advertising Copywriting
4.10-6.00 Consumer Behaviours
Friday - 10.30-12.20 Ethnic Relations
5.10-7.00 Marketing Research
Friday, July 3, 2009
Sitting in this enormous green field,
The stars as my companion,
The moon as my chaperon.
Fearful thoughts of people leaving,
Intimate memories that kept me believing.
The dark sky lights stars that makes me shiver,
The tears that I've been holding in is making me quiver.
A figure appeared behind the dark shady trees,
Treading the shallow puddle of waters beneath it.
A smile was visible.
The figure seem to hold out its hands,
She lifted her eyebrows in surprise.
Without knowing who it was,
She ran towards the figures,
Tears dropped as she ran.
Through her mind,
Her thoughts cleared up.
She hugged the mysterious man,
and said "I Love You, Dad."
"Thanks for being here for me when I needed you the most."
I Love You, Abah.
Thanks for all the support, I'll try to be the best daughter I can.
"You are the air traffic control to my aircraft.
You’re always ready help me off the ground..
.. and though I may not hear from you while I’m in the air..
.. you’re right there with me when I need to land."
Isn't he the sweetest? I want my boyfriend now. :(
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
okay, I'm bullshitting.
how come it looks so easy when other people do it?
why is this trail of thoughts following me everywhere?
the best distraction for me, used to be my job in promod.
but until recently, even the job can't distract me from feeling gloomy.
now, i found a better solutions to my problems and thoughts.
having day outs with kishi, may, mel and the others.
they seriously make me forget all my fears, my thoughts and my pain.
sometimes you can only wonder how people get by after you've been shot.
now, i've found my answer. my girls who never fails to make me laugh.
i love them like no other.
even more than my boyfriend. well, duh. :)
i am just glad I've found my tears and laughter friends.
Monday, June 29, 2009
why is it all the positive thinking is biting me in the ass?
being hopeful, being helpful, being too strong, too friendly. being too positive in general?
i don't want this. i'm not liking this.
at the end of the day, all i can really do is just let out a helpless sigh, and toughen myself up for the future? seems like a daily routine. well, i'll better get myself ready for the emotional roller coaster.
Well, I found out that I am actually stronger, emotionally.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Why on earth would I be thinking about this? Why would I be sad? Why am I crying now?
ShitShitShit. This is not happening. I effing hate the drama.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Every time you pull me into your arms, you make my heart leap.
Every time you kiss me on my forehead, I feel the time stopped running.
Every time you surprise me with a hug, you make me smile, and feel as if, we're the only ones in the universe.
Every time you kiss my hands, I wish that you can love me forever.
Every time i stare in your eyes, I find myself at peace.
Every time that we sit quietly and stare at each other, I know we're going to last.
Don't let me go, because I won't ever let you.
I do not dare to say I'm head over heels for you, but my I just want you to know, I'm here for you, always and hopefully, forever.
It took me this long, to realize that he means so much to me.
Maybe I wasn't ready before. :(
Monday, June 22, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Aussie plans might be postponed, due to late application forms and I got this offer first.
UiTM dihatiku, afterall?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Gabe Bondoc of CA, marry me, please! I love youuuuuuuuuuuu! *Girlish fan scream* Check him out in YouTube people, he's awesome and he's hot!
So there, my late night, new found crush. Rawrrrrr~
My results is kicking yo! Well, I bet most of the students from my batch has better results, but who cares, I'm not suspended, and I have good results. This couldn't be better. :D:D:D:D
The boyfriend was being super nice, even though I wasn't so nice to him. He knew I didn't eat a proper meal today, and dropped me off my fave burger, just so he knows that I've eaten something today. Thanks sayang. That's the second time you came by my house just do give me something to eat, I love you for it. :D:D
Thursday, June 11, 2009
not because of the results, I just feel like cursing today. FUCK!
Oh shit, the 'pain' is back.
Haven't you noticed, the star that shines the brightest will always burn out the fastest?
I'm at home for two weeks now, I thought that if I spent my time at home, I'd get to spend more time with my friends, my family, the boyfriend. But hell I was wrong, I'm starting to think no more RMIT for me, just work and make myself busy.
Starting in Promod again next Monday, so if anyone wants to go out with me, please book me early ok? Yeah, right. Like someone would actually want to spend time with me. I'm a bore.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
You added me in Ym, asking me a whole lotta stuff, and when I ask who you are, you say anything to evade it. And when I refuse to entertain you, you say shit about me. Like nutcase, much?
Calling me gemok won't offend me, because that's already a nickname for me. So yeah.
Calling me sombong or budget or whatever it is that you said, won't make me pissed off, it just makes me remind myself why I don't entertain people like you.
I bet you don't even know me that well. Or maybe you're just a friend of someone? One who is trying to figure me out? Well, go on, try me.
So yeah, introducing, Sharawy. My current boyfriend.
Can't say I'm head over heels or anything, but I'm glad he showed up, because he did a lot of things to make me feel better about myself. He never fails to put up a smile on my face. Anytime, anywhere. I guess I'm smitten, and hopefully this won't turn out bad.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Where exactly do you get satisfaction from?
What exactly satisfies you?
From the things you do, or from the things you are rewarded or the consequences after all those things you have done?
Real satisfaction is what I want. What I am looking for.
Does satisfaction come from people? From things?
From achievements? Is it a type of reward?
Do you really get satisfied by spending the whole day with your sweetheart a day before he/she is going oversea to further their studies?
Do you really get satisfied when you find out that your GPA is an astounding 4 flat and your parents really don’t care?
Is satisfaction the type of reward that everyone need?
Is satisfaction really all that?
I know I am full of questions, but I am intrigued by what satisfactory is.
Is this called satisfaction, when –
1. After a fight with your sweetheart, you kiss and makeup.
2. After all the hard work, you finally get recognized for what you do.
3. After having a blast performing on stage, the crowd cheers for more.
The feeling that you get. Where your blood rushes up to your head you suddenly feel like you’re on top of the world?
That great feeling, where you can’t help but to want for more? Is that it?
So, is it just a feeling that people get?
Is satisfaction the same as a reward?
A reward, mentally? Physically? Emotionally?
A type of reward that you can’t actually see?
Is satisfaction ever enough? I know it’s not for me, I always strive for more.
To me, satisfaction is a part of greediness. You’ll never settle for a bit.
What satisfies you the most?
- Having a great day?
- Listening to good music?
- Eating a scrumptious meal?
- Spending your own paycheck on the stuff that you always wanted?
- The day when you finally get over your old flame?
The world is in for a never-ending satisfaction hunt.
So am I, let’s join in.
To sum it up, after writing all of this down, my OWN conclusion is;
Satisfaction is a part of greediness, a feeling of greatness, is addictive, and very dangerous, since it drives people to do more and get more satisfaction, even by all means to step on other people’s head and stabbing other people’s backs. It is also considered as one of the best motivational skills. And to me, it is also a type of reward, a type of reward that can’t be seen by the naked eye. Unseen but meaningful. BUT, if I mixed up satisfaction with another feeling/thing, I guess I’m confused. Hah.
And after you get satisfied, what happens?
Satisfaction is never enough. Enough said.
But I wonder, does this really answer my question. Does it really?
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
He fell asleep on his chair, I took this opportunity to stare at his features. Soft eyes, a mole on top of his left brow, glistening silver stud at the corner of his right lower lip. His face frowns of the heat, he lets out a light sigh.
Oh, I melted right that instant. We were supposed to talk, but I'm scared that I'll bore him off his ass. So, I watched him dozed off to a deep slumber.
When I got back home, I was eager to let him know how much I loved him, but, instead, certain things happened. The thought never came out of my head.
It's weird how things NEVER go according to your plans, right?
Hmmmm. Well, moving on.. I've been busy working this past month, now I resigned, and currently jobless. Guess it was a stupid move to resign in the first place. *smacks my own head
I'm crapping, so, I'll blog later. Not so much in blogging mood. Missing him oh so much. And missing work, too. Joei and Eshia, I'll be waiting for our day out okay? *grins* Love you guys for not labeling me as a typical M. (You know what I mean)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
So, she did.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The sooner I get over this weekend, the less burden I have to deal with. Final test on Saturday, PreGraduates Lunch on Sunday, Final exams on the 21st.
It struck me last two nights, that I might be in a more serious relationship than I realised. Though I have not healed fully, but, maybe its time for me to stop fooling around and get serious. DOn't you think?
I definitely need a holiday awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay from civilization, but not the internet. ;)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Final paper is on 21st April, can't wait to get it over with. Insya'Allah will finish my studies in April.
Am currently swamped with Pro Project's Report, which is due next week. Very, very tired. Seriously,I've never felt this rushed before. I've slept for 7 hours for the past 3 days. -___-"
Got drained by this celanat kancil. Takpe, ada orang kat sidewalk, laju la lagi, biar air kat tepi jalan tu basahkan dia. Bodoh.
Drove back and forth from KL-Bangsar-Hartamas-Damansara-Subang-KL-Bangsar-Subang.
But, there were a few highlights this week.
Got to see him<3.
Got to meet Athirah, Kishi, and Mai. I have no idea why I LOVE spending time with you guys. I get to be myself, and laugh my ass off. Gila Best OK.
Got my mom to smile. :) Surprised her and gave her white lillies and so-fucking-cute-pink roses for her birthday! (which is today,btw)
And finally, I am on call balik Celaka. (Melaka)
This Semester has been SHHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYY!
Hopefully, I'll get through.
On the plus side, my social life is back and kicking!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Damn, rindu gila.
But for now, just a recap. Stupid lymph nodes making my body so damn lemah.
I've been busy doing God knows what.
I'm on cloud nine. <3<3
Been hanging out with my friends from Subang.
Been taking dietary supplements, since my lymph nodes are swollen, the edge of my lips crack every oh-so often, and my eyes are getting redder by the second.
Oh, and yeah, I've been a hella lot stronger than before. Thanks to my friends.
So, no more pushover Hannah.
I'll update more soon.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Yes, I have my breakdown moments, but there are things that can cheer me up. During my breakdown moments, I cleaned my room, the balcony, did laundry, played with kittens and baked brownies. Positive things have come out of my moodiness.
Whenever I feel sad, I text, I clean, I sing out loud.
Now, I'm planning my after-diploma vacation!
1st target is- Tioman Island!
Now, Bismillah banyak-banyak so that I can get through this year with just wee little bumps.
I am myself again! (Sometimes) Gaaaaah. :D
Friday, February 27, 2009
- I drove a the beloved black waja through a MOTORCYLE LANE at the federal highway!Then, my sister, my friends and I pleaded the police officers no to fine us. Yela, 1st time aku buat benda jahat secara TAK SENGAJA. (aku tak tahu tu lane motor, tak nampak signboard, and my friend buat lawak bodoh, and said, if kau bernai masuk la lane tu, with no further thinking, aku masuk je, dah masuk baru tau, gelabah keluar dari lane tu)
- Time tu jugak la ada 3 ketul police baru balik kerja kan. Haih. Dia suruh bagi each RM10, tapi kitaorang tak bagi. Then dia suruh lari kat tepi federal tu, tapi kitaorang tak buat jugak. Then dia bagi lepas camtu je. Ahahahaha! Merayu doh! Selamat 4 gadis comel *pukes* ada dalam kereta. Ahahaha!
- If that wasn't stupid enough, later that evening I was in Mid Valley, we were about to go home to our Condo, I went into the passenger seat, point in case, I was the DRIVER! If that doesn't show my absent-minded self, I don't know what would. I was definitely out of my body.
- We went swimming when it was raining. Baik mandi hujan je kan. Keluar pool dah batuk-batuk.
- I excused myself from a meeting with SKVE Holdings Manager. (slumber aku je kan, cam company bapak aku plak)
- I said alot of things that doesn't make sense. Speech-impediment. Ayat aku berterabur, dah tunggang terbalik. Ada ke nangis tersedak-sedak? Ahahahahaha.
- Oh, and I've stuck between elevator doors dah 4 kali just this week. Now I'm afraid of it.
- I asked for a breakup when I was driving. Yes, I didn't think of the consequences, me, in a car, raining outside, if the reply was devastating, I would have been in an accident, but, he chose not to reply, and I am fine now.
Thanks to Hazizi & Aya.
Monday, February 23, 2009
A dear friend passed away. Al-fatihah.
My love life is looking bleak, but I am trying to improve it.
My social life is already gone.
I seriously wish I was somewhere else right now.
I am depressed, yes, I am fucking depressed.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Here's the confirmed lineup for Sunburst 2009.
There are other international artists to be confirmed: Coldplay, etc.
How depressing is this year's sunburst man.
I'd rather pay RM30 to watch local bands at the MCPA.
They play there frequently jugak.
But They Will Kill Us All, Otherside Orchestra, Butterfingers and Twilight Action Girl made me smile. :)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Since months ago, I've been thinking how was it like to be invisible. Yes, I would love to be invisible. I mean, nothing is ever right with my doings. It seems like everything that I say, everything that I do, comes out wrong. Yeah, yeah. Same old, same old. I don't like how my studies are going, I don't like what my relationship is turning out to be. I don't like being the punching bag (again) in my family. And I certainly hate to be a doormat to people.
I hate being a pushover, but I don't know how to be anything else. I live in a world where I have no one to turn to, to talk to, or even be happy with. Lately I just feel as though I've done something so bad that I don't deserve living. Talk about being ungrateful.
I went out jogging today, for the sake of not turning myself into a potato, and for the sake of my relationship. No, he's not leaving me if I go fat. But, I'm sure sometimes he looks at other girls and then, looks at me. Well, I want to be the only girl in his life that he's proud of. After the jog, I felt happy, after so long, I've been pushing myself for a jog. When I was done, I feel as though I've reached something.
But my happiness came to an abrupt end. Mother got back from work and she started saying things as if I've done something terrible. And then she started ignoring me. I mean, what's the whole point of being in this house if I was to be ignored all the time?
Things got worse when the boyfriend text me with a hint of sarcasm. I hate the way things are going right now. I mean, the slightest bit of remark can get me off. No, my period is not here yet, and it won't visit til end of the month. And yeah, I'm just pissed off right about now.
I need my dose of Tender Love and Care, badly.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Here's my way of dealing; I'm waiting for Monday Translation class so I can finish my quiz and try to move to another class, so that I'll only have 1 day of classes, Tuesday. I know I'll miss out on the class-fun and all sorts of stuff. But I hate being left alone in the house of horror. (Har. Har.)
On a brighter note, I revamped my room, yet again. Yes, I have nothing better to do. I disassembled my study table, put up my night lights and fairy lights, organized the closets and changed my sheets. Eventhough at the back of my mind, there's this essay that I have to pass up on Tuesday. T_T
I have nothing more to write, oh yeah, I just realised I've been blogging with no photos. Which must be a bore for you to read, right? Oh, who am I kidding. I'm not even sure I have readers who follows my rants. Geez, stop being so bongkak lah Hannah.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Aku rasa masa adalah suatu benda yang kejam. Kenapa? Masa aku tengah lalai dilamun fikiran indah, masa mengejutkan aku. Tersentak dari lamunan, aku menitiskan air mata. Bukankah masa sepatutnya sesuatu yang indah? Yang priceless, bak kata omputih.
Even when you go through time with patience, it'll still get you. No matter how carefully you plan your life.
Masa tetap akan memainkan peranan dalam hidup aku, dan makin lama, aku makin benci akan masa. Aku terasa hidup ini sangat singkat, dan setiap kesalahan tidak boleh diperbaiki, membuatkan manusia berasa inferior terhadap diri masing-masing. kan?
Mengapa orang di London, US dan Australia tidak mempunyai zon masa yang sama? Masa menimbulkan suatu ruang yang besar untuk berhubung sesama kita. Adakah itu adil?
Masa juga boleh membawa masalah kepada hidup seseorang. Masa boleh mengakibatkan sesorang itu bertukar fikiran, emosi dan attitude. Ya, masa sesuatu yang tidak boleh dijual beli, sesuatu sebegitu superior sepatutnya lebih indah. Lebih mudah difahami.
Yes people, I am currently hating time.