Saturday, April 24, 2010


I know very well the fact that shit happens,

but why does it always happen to me, and always at the wrong time?

Tomorrow is my first final paper for my finals, why am I so glum and on the verge of crying?

Tell yourself you're okay Hannah, and you will be.

That's just bullshit.


The distance made me realize that I can't bear waiting anymore.

I've done that for the past two years, and the consequences is catching up on me.

It's tough when you have to wait by your mobile for a person's text, but the texts never show, and you're the one who has to initiate the first move, and inquire. I'm tired of being the one with the effort. I know when you're on a job its hard for you to make time for me, but a simple "I love you" would be sufficient for me. I just need some sort of confirmation of your being. Safe or not.

Oh well. Fuck this shit. I can't stand being emo anymore. I'm fucking out of here.

You know where to find me. And if you do decide to find me, it better be a hell of a good reason why you've been silent. Thanks.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Whisper to me your curiosity, ask me anything;

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Death Comes A-Knockin'

When death comes looming, what do you think of?

Sometimes I can't help but wonder, what would the people around me do if I'm dead?
(I don't wish for it to happen, just one of those random thoughts)

Would they forget me?
Would they wish that I was still around?
Would they find replacements?

I have thoughts that go through my mind everyday before I go to sleep, thoughts that disturb me in my dreams. I dreamed that after my death, the boyfriend found someone else almost immediately, the family found peace. I can't imagine being gone from this world. Though I can be ungrateful at times,but its thoughts like this that makes me so thankful that I am still standing.

I hate the thought of life going on without me. Selfish, I know, but they mean so much to me, you know? I want to be there and see them change, see them grow up, see them blossom.

I might have put too much thought in this. I'm grateful I have friends, a boyfriend, and a functional (sometimes) family to let me have the chance in living my life.

. I just HATE the nightmares. I just HATE the thoughts

Scary much?

Saturday, April 17, 2010


I never felt.........

......this alone.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

And She Was Gone

Another excerpt from As Told By Ginger.
I am inspired.

She chose to walk alone
Though others wondered why
Refused to look before her,
Kept eyes cast upwards,
Towards the sky.

She didn't have companions
No need for earthly things.
Only wanted freedom,
From what she felt were
Puppet strings.

She longed to be a bird. That she might fly away.
She pitied every blade of grass
For planted they would stay.

She longed to be a flame,
That brightly danced alone.
Felt jealous of the steam
That made the air its only home.

Some say she wished too hard.
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone.

The trees, they say stood witness.
The sky refused to tell.
But someone who had seen it said
The story played out well.

She spread her arms out wide.
Breathed in the break of dawn.
She just let go of all she held...

And then she was gone.

I wanna look for the writers from the show.
They deserve standing ovations.

Splinter In My Heart

I was suddenly reminded of a cartoon series in Nickelodeon; As Told By Ginger.

That series was one hell of a story. It motivated me to write. Where have those days gone?

It's kind of sad really
Guess I'm the sort who'll linger
When the credits roll
I still can't leave a picture
The picture I hold
In my heart

It makes me mad really
Wish I could blame a twister
Or a hurricane,
Or my pesky sister
Wish I could blame away this feeling
In my heart

There's reasons left to fight
There's you to kiss good night
Hold on
Hold on tight

It makes me mad really
Wish I could blame a twister
Or a hurricane,
Or my pesky sister
Wish I could blame away this feeling
In my heart

Just a splinter in my heart.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Depression is just a state of mind.

Your words are just hints to your thoughts.
This I know, because I've been hearing them over and over and over again.

Stop, voice, stop.
You've messed with my feelings too much.

I need time, I need air.

I crave freedom.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


"you have to be considerate,
you have to think
........doing god knows what"

Seriously, am I a burden to you?

Cause if I am, I'll leave.

There's plenty more people who appreciates me besides you guys.

.....I think

Why is it do hard for you people to understand that I'll be out of your hair soon?

You guys just can't see me take a breath, huh?

Well, guess what,
there will come a time,
when you need me,
and I'll be GONE.

Fuck yeah you heard me right.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

hey jackass,

You're not exactly important to me anymore, so why am I still stalking you?

French Finals - Done with Doubt
Political-based article - Stalling
Media Planning Sched - Doing tonight.
Everything else - Fuck off.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Life is anything but


Monday, April 5, 2010


I have no idea why I had this urge to Google him. I mean, why bring back the pain right? But yeah, I googled him, went through some of his photos, and something hit me. I am over it, the whole shit, the drama, the mood swings of him.

Big round of applause please people.

But, I can't seem to get over one thing;
Why the fuck am I reminiscing?
Maybe I AM over IT, but not him.

It couldn't be about him.
I'm over him too!
Now I might not sound so convincing.
That's weird, I thought I had my ego with me here for a sec.
Seem to have lost it.

Egoo, Eeeeego, where are youuuuu?
Oh, there you are, what are you doing under the pillow? You need to kick some ass now man.

Hell yeah, bring it on bastards, you've got no game on me.
I am on a mission, and to you; be damned.