The distance made me realize that I can't bear waiting anymore.
I've done that for the past two years, and the consequences is catching up on me.
It's tough when you have to wait by your mobile for a person's text, but the texts never show, and you're the one who has to initiate the first move, and inquire. I'm tired of being the one with the effort. I know when you're on a job its hard for you to make time for me, but a simple "I love you" would be sufficient for me. I just need some sort of confirmation of your being. Safe or not.
Oh well. Fuck this shit. I can't stand being emo anymore. I'm fucking out of here.
You know where to find me. And if you do decide to find me, it better be a hell of a good reason why you've been silent. Thanks.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder, what would the people around me do if I'm dead? (I don't wish for it to happen, just one of those random thoughts)
Would they forget me? Would they wish that I was still around? Would they find replacements?
I have thoughts that go through my mind everyday before I go to sleep, thoughts that disturb me in my dreams. I dreamed that after my death, the boyfriend found someone else almost immediately, the family found peace. I can't imagine being gone from this world. Though I can be ungrateful at times,but its thoughts like this that makes me so thankful that I am still standing.
I hate the thought of life going on without me. Selfish, I know, but they mean so much to me, you know? I want to be there and see them change, see them grow up, see them blossom.
I might have put too much thought in this. I'm grateful I have friends, a boyfriend, and a functional (sometimes) family to let me have the chance in living my life.
Urgh. I just HATE the nightmares. I just HATE the thoughts
I have no idea why I had this urge to Google him. I mean, why bring back the pain right? But yeah, I googled him, went through some of his photos, and something hit me. I am over it, the whole shit, the drama, the mood swings of him.
OV-ER IT! Big round of applause please people.
But, I can't seem to get over one thing; Why the fuck am I reminiscing? Maybe I AM over IT, but not him.
Naaah. It couldn't be about him. I'm over him too! Now I might not sound so convincing. Hmmmmmm. That's weird, I thought I had my ego with me here for a sec. Seem to have lost it.
Egoo, Eeeeego, where are youuuuu? Oh, there you are, what are you doing under the pillow? You need to kick some ass now man.
Hell yeah, bring it on bastards, you've got no game on me. I am on a mission, and to you; be damned.