Friday, December 26, 2008


Written this morning. But malas nak cari broadband atas meja.


It is currently nearing 6 a.m. I am still awake which is normal nowadays, and it just occurred to me that I haven’t written a totally honest (to myself) blog for quite some time. I’m stressing my head out for my very disappointing results, and I can’t get myself to stop thinking about my personal problems and start doing something about it.

It always struck me that I never actually thought that I would lose people in my life. But slowly, I began to realize that when people really want me, (my help to be exact) they’d find me, but when my help is worthless, or my good deed is done, they abandon me. You know, like a carpet rug, which is always there either when you need it or don’t? (OK, my first sentence has nothing to do with this, I just realized)

Moving on, OK, you may not get what I’m trying to say, but I am fed up of getting caught up in other people’s personal life when my own is about to go down in the drains. This is where (supposedly) help comes in, a knight in shining armor or some sort. But all hope is hanging. I am left alone. Heck. I FEEL alone.

Honestly, I don’t know what exactly what I am saying, but my life is crap right now, and trying to find a way to fix it.(Trust me, I'm working my ass off) And, all I know is, I’m at it on my own. Be independent, (cue my mom’s voice).. don’t be too dependent on other people. Where is the Hannah I know?

Hang in there, Hannah, and you might make it through out your worst part of your life.

Hey, I’m allowed to be ungrateful once in a while right?

Will be myself back soon, I guess.

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