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Yes, indeed I am serious.
Friday, December 26, 2008
//hnoeyst.
It is currently nearing 6 a.m. I am still awake which is normal nowadays, and it just occurred to me that I haven’t written a totally honest (to myself) blog for quite some time. I’m stressing my head out for my very disappointing results, and I can’t get myself to stop thinking about my personal problems and start doing something about it.
It always struck me that I never actually thought that I would lose people in my life. But slowly, I began to realize that when people really want me, (my help to be exact) they’d find me, but when my help is worthless, or my good deed is done, they abandon me. You know, like a carpet rug, which is always there either when you need it or don’t? (OK, my first sentence has nothing to do with this, I just realized)
Moving on, OK, you may not get what I’m trying to say, but I am fed up of getting caught up in other people’s personal life when my own is about to go down in the drains. This is where (supposedly) help comes in, a knight in shining armor or some sort. But all hope is hanging. I am left alone. Heck. I FEEL alone.
Honestly, I don’t know what exactly what I am saying, but my life is crap right now, and trying to find a way to fix it.(Trust me, I'm working my ass off) And, all I know is, I’m at it on my own. Be independent, (cue my mom’s voice).. don’t be too dependent on other people. Where is the Hannah I know?
Hang in there, Hannah, and you might make it through out your worst part of your life.
Hey, I’m allowed to be ungrateful once in a while right?
Will be myself back soon, I guess.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Private Colleges, No?
Okay, luckily I don't want to go to Aussie in the near future. I'm planning to go to a local college instead, and I'd already obtained the green light from my parents. So, probably I'm going to either KDU or Taylor's School Of Communication. I'm rooting for Taylor's, it's near my house, and I'd have a new surrounding. New people, new friends, new information to learn. Communication and Media Management is what I chose to pursue for my degree. The college is also affiliated with University of South Australia (UniSA), so, that'll be an advantage since the certificate will be from the Uni itself.
My results sucks again, this semester. I'm just relieved to know that I don't have to repeat my Multimedia subject. Thanks to Miss Mayudia, even though I still have welled up anger towards her. :)
That is why I wrote about Taylor's and KDU, because my results sucked.
God. I suck. T_T
My results sucks again, this semester. I'm just relieved to know that I don't have to repeat my Multimedia subject. Thanks to Miss Mayudia, even though I still have welled up anger towards her. :)
That is why I wrote about Taylor's and KDU, because my results sucked.
God. I suck. T_T
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Hum Away.
Trouble in paradise. Even if it's not paradise. I'm GAINING WEIGHT! Dammit! I've tried herbal teas and such, no such luck, and every time I prepared for a jog session, rain comes puring down. No such luck in Operation Destroy Handles.
OK, here's my New Year's Resolutions. I just thought of it like 2 seconds ago. Har-di-har-har.
Yes, people, I am on a mission! I plan to;
OK, here's my New Year's Resolutions. I just thought of it like 2 seconds ago. Har-di-har-har.
Yes, people, I am on a mission! I plan to;
- Lose weight
- Handle my chores without a fuss
- Get good results
- Get into a certain college (that I had my eye on)
- Be sensible and positive
It all seem so reachable, am I right? Well, as my life goes, I would like to achieve what is the obvious first, and later on, comes the difficult task. Pandai-pandai lah susun cita-cita kan?
The next few paragraphs are a result of me being negative, and they are just merely my thoughts.
Ambitions, hopes and dreams. Thoughts that are meant for your mind, and soul only. But these things, often becomes a motivation to reach for the impossible, and creates an excuse to prove to yourself that you are worth it. And yet, things like these that can bring you down, makes you fall and teaches you to give up before ever trusting any thought of yours.
Well, I'm just being negative here, but believe me, I gave up on hope ages ago. Yes, I do say things like "hopefully...", but when it comes to hope, I just have no faith. I hate false hopes, they're a bit like broken promises don't you think?
Yes, aku negatif orangnya. But still, I still live my life large, and also, I put more and more faith in myself everyday.
Friday, December 5, 2008
I Tag You People.
Got tagged by Zahirah. Here Goes. Jawab OK.
QA #1
1. What’s your ambition?
To become succesful in life. Full stop.
2. Who is more important to you? Girlfriends or friends?
My friends, doesn't matter whether they're girls, or the opposite.
3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
Nahh. I think the better in things sometimes. Shit happens for a reason. No matter how stupid they are, and no matter how suicidal I sound in my posts, I don't think about suicide.
4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Not really. I get chicken when it comes to asking a salesperson about certain stuff. Imagine that.
5. How many babies do you want?
4. Insya'Allah. Or maybe 3. I haven't even thought about it yet.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Duh.
7. What is your goal for this year?
To be whole as a person. Geddit?
8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Yes. For Allah S.W.T.
9. What’s is your favorite television series?
One Tree Hill season 5. The L word. The O.C, Gossip Girls, Heroes, Ghost Whisperer, Gilmore Girls, CSI Vegas, CSI Miami. Yes people, I ADORE dramas!
10. What are you really afraid of?
Allah S.W.T, death and Hari Akhirat
11.What is your bad habits?
I tend to think negative.
12. Is there anything you wanna tell to the people who hates you?
Why? Takde faedah pun.
13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Of course. What idiot doesn't?
14. What does flying means to you?
To be able to let yourself go.
15. What do you crave for the most currently?
Craving? Ooooohhh! Subway,Carl's JR, Tauhu Bakar JB, Mi Rebus Johor Hj Hamid,
16. Most unexpected gift you received so far and when?
Anger. Can it be considered as a gift? I get angry easily nowadays.
17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words:
Zahirah, sangat penyabar, very observant, talented, rambles on about J-Pop sometimes, ooohh..! Dorothy Perkins addict, if I may say so.
18. What have you done to yourself make yourself happy?
I'd finally stand up for myself lately. I hate being taken for a ride.
19. What will you become in another 10 years to come?
I'm hoping to be in the advertising industry and become a copywriter, also, I wish to posses my Masters from Charles Sturt University.
20. What have you achieved in life lately to make it better?
Achieved? Self-Independence. That felt really really good.
QA #2.
Rule 1 -People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Rule 2 -Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tag by continuing this game by sending it to other people.
1. Do you have secrets?
Yes. Everybody has skeletons in their closet kan?
2. Would you fall in love with a guy younger than you?
Yeah. But I couldn't care a less about age. As long as they understand me.
3. Do you enjoy going to college?
Sometimes, yeah.
4. what will you do if you have million dolars?
To buy my own car and house. The rest is for keeps. Maybe guna sikit untuk kahwin! Haha!
5. Will you fall in love with your friend?
I thought people were supposed to be friends, then barula jadi kekasih. Bukan eh? -_-"
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
If you know how to play it right, both.
7. List 5 current favourite songs
-Always be my baby (David Cook Version)
-Breathe In Today (Flyleaf)
-Darling (Eyes Set To Kill)
-Nobody Knows It But Me (Babyface)
-With Me (Sum 41)
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I'm already in a relationship I love, why should I go for someone else, what more with that person is taken?
9. Would you be the person that you are if you were to be reborn?
I have no idea. Probably.
10. What do you want the most at the moment?
To see RSI and make up for lost time.
11. What kind of person do you think the person that tagged you is?
Refer above, Doofus.
12. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
In the middle. Married, not rich, not poor, but so and so.
13. What is your favourite color?
I can't just choose one. OK. Rainbow. and Black.
14. Would you give all in for a relationship?
Not really, there's always a extra for myself and Allah S.W.T.
15. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, which one would you choose?
Yg mana lagi hebat? As in, characteristics, perspectives on certain things, and of course, features, tapi tak hensem pun takpe. Asalkan very very understanding and better than the other person.
16. What are the top 5 bands that you listen to or love?
All time favourite?
-Flyleaf
-Eyes Set To Kill
-Boyz II Men (This is counted as a band, right?)
-
17. Name 3 things you would like to do but would never be able to.
-To tell the future
-To play the drums
-To write like Ahern
18. 5 people I have tagged.
Awin Roslin, Hamzani, Iva, Mutalib, Samsul
QA #1
1. What’s your ambition?
To become succesful in life. Full stop.
2. Who is more important to you? Girlfriends or friends?
My friends, doesn't matter whether they're girls, or the opposite.
3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
Nahh. I think the better in things sometimes. Shit happens for a reason. No matter how stupid they are, and no matter how suicidal I sound in my posts, I don't think about suicide.
4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Not really. I get chicken when it comes to asking a salesperson about certain stuff. Imagine that.
5. How many babies do you want?
4. Insya'Allah. Or maybe 3. I haven't even thought about it yet.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Duh.
7. What is your goal for this year?
To be whole as a person. Geddit?
8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Yes. For Allah S.W.T.
9. What’s is your favorite television series?
One Tree Hill season 5. The L word. The O.C, Gossip Girls, Heroes, Ghost Whisperer, Gilmore Girls, CSI Vegas, CSI Miami. Yes people, I ADORE dramas!
10. What are you really afraid of?
Allah S.W.T, death and Hari Akhirat
11.What is your bad habits?
I tend to think negative.
12. Is there anything you wanna tell to the people who hates you?
Why? Takde faedah pun.
13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Of course. What idiot doesn't?
14. What does flying means to you?
To be able to let yourself go.
15. What do you crave for the most currently?
Craving? Ooooohhh! Subway,Carl's JR, Tauhu Bakar JB, Mi Rebus Johor Hj Hamid,
16. Most unexpected gift you received so far and when?
Anger. Can it be considered as a gift? I get angry easily nowadays.
17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words:
Zahirah, sangat penyabar, very observant, talented, rambles on about J-Pop sometimes, ooohh..! Dorothy Perkins addict, if I may say so.
18. What have you done to yourself make yourself happy?
I'd finally stand up for myself lately. I hate being taken for a ride.
19. What will you become in another 10 years to come?
I'm hoping to be in the advertising industry and become a copywriter, also, I wish to posses my Masters from Charles Sturt University.
20. What have you achieved in life lately to make it better?
Achieved? Self-Independence. That felt really really good.
QA #2.
Rule 1 -People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Rule 2 -Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tag by continuing this game by sending it to other people.
1. Do you have secrets?
Yes. Everybody has skeletons in their closet kan?
2. Would you fall in love with a guy younger than you?
Yeah. But I couldn't care a less about age. As long as they understand me.
3. Do you enjoy going to college?
Sometimes, yeah.
4. what will you do if you have million dolars?
To buy my own car and house. The rest is for keeps. Maybe guna sikit untuk kahwin! Haha!
5. Will you fall in love with your friend?
I thought people were supposed to be friends, then barula jadi kekasih. Bukan eh? -_-"
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
If you know how to play it right, both.
7. List 5 current favourite songs
-Always be my baby (David Cook Version)
-Breathe In Today (Flyleaf)
-Darling (Eyes Set To Kill)
-Nobody Knows It But Me (Babyface)
-With Me (Sum 41)
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I'm already in a relationship I love, why should I go for someone else, what more with that person is taken?
9. Would you be the person that you are if you were to be reborn?
I have no idea. Probably.
10. What do you want the most at the moment?
To see RSI and make up for lost time.
11. What kind of person do you think the person that tagged you is?
Refer above, Doofus.
12. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
In the middle. Married, not rich, not poor, but so and so.
13. What is your favourite color?
I can't just choose one. OK. Rainbow. and Black.
14. Would you give all in for a relationship?
Not really, there's always a extra for myself and Allah S.W.T.
15. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, which one would you choose?
Yg mana lagi hebat? As in, characteristics, perspectives on certain things, and of course, features, tapi tak hensem pun takpe. Asalkan very very understanding and better than the other person.
16. What are the top 5 bands that you listen to or love?
All time favourite?
-Flyleaf
-Eyes Set To Kill
-Boyz II Men (This is counted as a band, right?)
-
17. Name 3 things you would like to do but would never be able to.
-To tell the future
-To play the drums
-To write like Ahern
18. 5 people I have tagged.
Awin Roslin, Hamzani, Iva, Mutalib, Samsul
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Relief
I just realized that now my blog, LOOKS like an actual blog.
Rather than just a page of scribbled ramblings of an emo girl.
It definitely looks better now.
Alhamdulillah.
Rather than just a page of scribbled ramblings of an emo girl.
It definitely looks better now.
Alhamdulillah.
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