Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Death Comes A-Knockin'

When death comes looming, what do you think of?

Sometimes I can't help but wonder, what would the people around me do if I'm dead?
(I don't wish for it to happen, just one of those random thoughts)

Would they forget me?
Would they wish that I was still around?
Would they find replacements?

I have thoughts that go through my mind everyday before I go to sleep, thoughts that disturb me in my dreams. I dreamed that after my death, the boyfriend found someone else almost immediately, the family found peace. I can't imagine being gone from this world. Though I can be ungrateful at times,but its thoughts like this that makes me so thankful that I am still standing.

I hate the thought of life going on without me. Selfish, I know, but they mean so much to me, you know? I want to be there and see them change, see them grow up, see them blossom.

I might have put too much thought in this. I'm grateful I have friends, a boyfriend, and a functional (sometimes) family to let me have the chance in living my life.

. I just HATE the nightmares. I just HATE the thoughts

Scary much?

1 comment:

Rhea Izar said...

Hey...You hate the thoughts huh? Maybe its not the thoughts persay though, maybe its what comes with the thoughts...the doubts?