Thanks to msx, a reader in Canada, my Wives, and My sister-in-law for motivating me to have that talk with Boyot.
I finally told him how I felt, and what I really wanted out of this relationship, which is;
But his reply was exactly what I expected. He told me he couldn't provide the right balance that I needed, so I was a bit disappointed by that. I don't know what else to say, so I asked him what did his heart tells him to do, he just said:
"In order to keep our relationship happy, I would change for you. Yes, I'm lying to myself, I'm most myself when I'm with my friends, but not with you, but if this is what I have to do, then I'm willing"
in my head was,
"if you feel like you're lying to yourself, then what about me?"
So. I replied.
"I didn't say I wanted you to change, its just I want the Balance, and you can't give me that. I would also be lying if I said I'm okay with you not being able to give me that. Of all the things I said, I think this is the thing that matters to me most, so when you tell me that, I don't know how to react, what to do, and what to say"
His reply was
"I did change, for you, you have to accept it, but if you can't, then you decide, I don't know if there's anything else I can do"
I left it at that.
How can he be so .... ignorant? He can't even try to balance? Sigh. I'm beyond disappointed right now. I guess my heart AND mind knows what its supposed to do, huh?