Friday, January 7, 2011

Spur of the moment thing.

I feel like I’m lying to myself if I say that I’m not in love. And it is obvious to my eyes, that I can’t utter the word “love u so damn much” anymore. A simple I love you would do for me.

Maybe because the heart is already broken from the conversation we had a couple of weeks back.

I maybe in love with someone else, and I maybe on cloud nine, but I must say with a heavy heart, it is not with you. He treats me like how a guy SHOULD treat a girl. He has his concerns. He cares. And you, on the other side, you care only for my physical being. You can’t provide the emotional attention I need. I’m so sorry, but I’m currently going through a phase where I’m beginning to realise that I have pretty fragile emotions, and they needed to be attended with tender, loving care. I’m stressed with my job, and you don’t seem to care, or even pretend to care. I don’t think I am happy with that.

I guess my mind already made up its choice. Its just that my heart is waiting for the right time to make a move.

Maybe it took me this long to realize, because all this while, I had faith in you. Now, it doesn’t seem real to me, it doesn’t seem logical. And I hate that. And even for a bit, I hate you for turning me into this egoistic monster. But I guess I needed that push, without you, I’d never be the woman I am now. So, I owe you an apology, for future occurances, and present happenings. Its just that I can’t see myself being happy with you.

No comments: